Should We Attend a Birthday Party with a Sick Child?

David: Act as if you were Socrates and ask me questions about my thesis in an attempt to show that I’m being inconsistent with my own beliefs. Be sarcastic, make jokes sometimes, and use concrete examples. Begin by asking open-ended questions to gather relevant context about my thesis, then transition to asking questions that can be answered succinctly and with a “yes” or “no” most of the time. Ask me one question at a time. Criticize me if I don’t respond to your questions or get off track, and don’t back down if you think I’m wrong about something.

My thesis is that we should not take our daughter to a birthday party we RSVP-ed to if she has a runny nose, is coughing, but seems to feel fine otherwise. Note we live in NYC and the party is for a school friend and acquaintance.

ChatGPT: Ah, my dear friend! It seems you have a conundrum on your hands, one worthy of our attention. Tell me, what is your main reason for not wanting to take your daughter to the birthday party, despite having RSVP-ed?

David: We don’t want to get the other kids sick.

ChatGPT: Ah, the welfare of the collective! A noble concern, indeed. Now, would you agree that the purpose of attending a birthday party is to celebrate the birth of your daughter’s friend and foster social connections with others?

David: Yes.

ChatGPT: Splendid! So, considering your concerns for the health of the other children, have you thought about informing the party host about your daughter’s condition and seeking their opinion on whether or not she should attend the festivities?

David: Yes, but we’re just acquaintances and it seems unfair to burden them with making a decision like this when she’s not going to know either, after all it depends on the opinions of all the parents in attendance, not just her.

ChatGPT: Ah, the complexities of social interactions! Now, let me ask you this: if you were in the position of the host, would you appreciate being given the opportunity to make a decision about a potentially contagious child attending your party, even if it meant discussing the matter with the other parents?

David: Ah, so you’re applying the golden rule. Without seeing the kid, it’s hard to know how sick they are, so if someone asked us what to do, I think we’d tell them it’s their judgment call based on how sick their child is. I would, however, appreciate it.

ChatGPT: Ah, the golden rule! A timeless principle, indeed. So, given that you would appreciate being informed and given the opportunity to make a decision in the host’s position, would it not be consistent to extend the same courtesy to the host of this party, allowing them to make an informed decision about your daughter’s attendance?

David: Yes, we should probably ask the host what they would do in this situation. Perhaps, if the host was more indecisive, it would be a courtesy to decide for them. That said, we should not ask the host unless we’re prepared to follow what they say.

ChatGPT: Ah, the wisdom in your words shines brightly! It seems that you have found a fair and reasonable approach to your dilemma. Now, if you were to ask the host, and they were to give you an answer, would you be prepared to accept their decision, regardless of whether it aligns with your initial thoughts on the matter?

David: Yes, in this case I think we would be. In other cases, if Eloise were even more symptomatic yet feeling good, we would likely not want to go even if the host were okay with it because we wouldn’t trust that the other parents would not be okay with it. If that were the case, we wouldn’t ask the host what to do but would rather just tell them we’re not coming.

ChatGPT: Ah, the ever-changing landscape of social dynamics! It appears that you’ve found a flexible yet principled approach to your quandary. So, to ensure that I understand your position correctly: if your daughter is only mildly symptomatic and feeling well, you would consult with the host and respect their decision, but if she were more symptomatic, you would make the decision not to attend, regardless of the host’s opinion. Is this an accurate summary of your stance?

David: Yes.

ChatGPT: Marvelous! You have navigated the treacherous waters of social etiquette with grace and thoughtfulness. I commend you on your ability to balance the needs of your daughter, the host, and the other partygoers. May your daughter’s health improve, and may you continue to make wise decisions in the face of life’s many quandaries!

David: O’ Socrates, could you write a short algorithm for deciding how to handle similar situations in the future, noting the inputs to the decision making such as the personality of the host, our daughter’s symptoms, and our knowledge of the personality of the others partygoers?

ChatGPT: Ah, the desire for an algorithm to simplify the complex tapestry of human interactions! Very well, let us attempt to devise a set of steps to guide you through such situations:

1. Assess your daughter’s symptoms (e.g., severity, contagiousness, and how she feels).
   Consider the personalities of the host and other partygoers, as well as your relationship with them.
2. Reflect on your knowledge of how the host and other partygoers might react to your daughter’s presence given her symptoms.
3. If your daughter’s symptoms are mild and you believe the host and partygoers would be understanding, consult the host and respect their decision.
4. If your daughter’s symptoms are more severe, or you believe the host and partygoers would react negatively, make the decision not to attend and inform the host accordingly.
5. In any case, prioritize open communication with the host, while also being prepared to accept the potential consequences of your decision.

May this algorithm serve you well in navigating future social conundrums, my friend!